You are allowed to want more.

Because you do not need fixing. You may just need another perspective.

From the outside, life looks like it's working because you're good at what you do. People can rely on you. You're usually the one who gets it done, and yet, inside, your conversation sounds more like this:

"I should be able to cope with this." "Maybe I'm just not cut out for the next level." "Why does everyone else seem to move forward except me?" "It's probably too late to change now."

And if you're honest, you’re feeling a bit tired of how hard it all feels, you're underwhelmed with it all - the unending emails which you never seem to get on top of, the rewrites you have to do to fix other people’s work, the back-to-back meetings that leave no time for a glass of water or, gasp, a bathroom break.

You may find yourself rewriting an email three times before you send it, or staying quiet in meetings because the last time you spoke up, someone else talked over you. And you wonder if you need another time management course to fix it all.

Meanwhile, the kids are leaving home, your parents need more of you, and there's talk of another restructure. Some days you wonder whether this is just what life looks like at your age.

It feels like life is moving on while you’re on a hamster wheel of the mundane, keeping up with everyone else's needs, not getting your own met, and going around and around.

And quietly, you've decided you're the problem. Because it feels like everyone else has it together. You look around, and you see them getting on with it, making decisions, and not second-guessing themselves.

But what if the problem isn't you?

Your perceived lack of capability isn’t what’s holding you back. It's the story you've been telling yourself around it.

Somewhere along the way, a moment became an identity. A comment from a manager. A promotion that went to someone else. The time you were talked over. You made it mean something about who you are, and that meaning quietly became a belief.

"I have to prove myself." "I need to be more confident first." "I need more credentials before I'm allowed to go for it." 

And that became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Because when those beliefs run our lives, they cost more than you realise. Your energy, your voice, opportunities you never put your hand up for, and the joy, vitality, and satisfaction with your life. These beliefs feel true because you've lived with them so long that you’ve made yourself small enough to fit them. And it’s costing you.

"What happened to you isn't who you are." – Maree Burgess

This is solvable. And you don't have to work it out alone.

I'm Maree Burgess, a Melbourne-based coach for professional women in their 40s and 50s. I help you notice the beliefs quietly running your life, shift your perspective and design what comes next, so that you have flexibility and choice to work out how you want your life to go. 

Which means you are in the driver seat from now on to how your life goes.

My superpower is simple. I see the possibilities in others, which means I see what's possible for you, even when you can't see it yet.

For over 40 years, in corporate roles and in my own business, I've worked with thousands of people, who were sure the problem was them. It rarely is, because more often than not, you’re looking at the situation through a lens that no longer fits. 

You’re seeing yourself through the comments you heard early in your life. Like the third grade teacher that said ‘you should never sing because you have a terrible voice’. My fourth grade teacher (and School Principal of a tiny school) told me (after I peeked at some notes during a test) ‘once a cheater always a cheater’ (ouch). In contrast my Mum said when I was four years old ‘you are really good at math’. Those comments stay with you and solidify into beliefs.

That's where belief busting and perspective shifting come in. 

Belief busting means noticing the beliefs quietly running the show and getting curious about whether they're actually true so that you can decide if they are useful or not. And if they are not useful doing the work to shift them.

Perspective shifting means stepping back to look at your situation from another angle, so choices you couldn't see before start to appear, which means that there are more options and a better and different way to move forward.

This isn’t about advice to "be more" or pretending to be someone you're not. It’s about more behavioural flexibility, your ability to choose how you respond, instead of reacting the same way out of habit. It isn’t about changing who you are. It’s about having more than one way to handle a moment, so you can choose the one that works best for you. 

Most of us run on a handful of automatic responses. We say yes when we mean no, go quiet when we’re spoken over, or push harder when we’re already tired. Those responses usually come from an old belief, like “I have to prove myself” or “it’s safer not to rock the boat”. When you notice the belief, you get your choice back. 

Because this gives you the ability to respond rather than react, adapt without losing yourself, and choose what fits the moment, not just what you’ve always done.

Imagine…

• Ending the workday with energy left for the people and things you love

• Saying no without the guilt spiral, and yes to what actually matters to you

• Feeling calm when everything around you is busy, instead of carrying everyone else's urgency

• Waking up without the to-do list already running in your head

• Walking into a difficult conversation without your stomach tightening before you've even spoken

• Letting go of that quiet "is this it?" feeling, because your days feel meaningful again

• Trusting yourself to choose your next chapter, instead of waiting until you feel "ready"

This isn't about controlling every outcome or having every answer. It's about feeling centred when everything else feels uncertain, trusting yourself as things change, and having enough space inside to respond rather than react, so that you become the calm one in control.

Which means that you have more choice and can make better decisions.

You may be in the same role but it feels different because you are finding joy in moments. You’re looking ahead with anticipation rather than back with regret or anxiousness.

So now you intentionally set up the next stage of your life to play out the way you want it to, designing a life you’re consciously choosing.

That's what perspective shifting and belief busting can do.