Struggling With A Difficult Conversation? Try This First
Despite what many people believe, having confidence to have difficult conversations is a practised skill.
Confident leaders are not born with better skills at difficult conversations.
We assume some people are naturally calm, naturally articulate, and naturally courageous. But after years of coaching leaders through tough conversations, I can tell you something very different is going on.
Confidence in these moments is rarely natural, it’s practised. When leaders say they lack the courage to have a difficult conversation, what they’re often feeling is uncertainty.
Uncertainty about:
how to start the conversation
how direct to be
how the other person will react
how to stay calm if emotions rise
That uncertainty creates tension, which shows up in subtle ways.
Your voice tightens.
Your message becomes vague.
You over-explain or soften the point so that it becomes meaningless
You rush to the end just to get through it.
From the outside, it can sound hesitant or unclear, and from the inside, it feels like articulation has failed you, which makes you doubt how you go about this conversation.
Courage isn’t the missing ingredient, preparation is.
When you practice a conversation before you have it, something powerful happens. Your brain stops treating the moment as unfamiliar, and your nervous system settles because the words are no longer new, they are in your muscle memory. You hear how the words sound and you know where the difficult part sits.
Which means you know you can say it clearly and THAT changes how you show up.
Leaders who rehearse their conversations don’t just sound clearer, they sound calmer, more grounded, and more relatable.
Not because they’re performing, but because they’re prepared.
This conversation is then less about surviving the moment and more about leading it well.
If there’s a conversation you’ve been turning over in your mind, wondering how to handle it, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Bring the real conversation.
One coaching session to set you up for conversation success.
And you become clearer, calmer, and more credible.
You don’t need more time to think.
You need a safe space to translate.
Maree